


I know it better. Actually.

by Justherefortarlos



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Hard Time, M/M, Paramedic TK Strand, Possible Relapse, TK had a bad shift, Tarlos - Freeform, Worried Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29762802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justherefortarlos/pseuds/Justherefortarlos
Summary: TK is devastated when he came home after a bad shift. How will he handle the struggle, when Carlos isn't around?
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	I know it better. Actually.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Drug addiction, breaking sobriety, possible relapse
> 
> Hey everyone :)  
> This idea came up a few days ago and I needed to write it. Please let me know what you think.

TK returned home from a rough shift; taking off his shoes, he kicked them into the corner. Meanwhile, his boyfriend Carlos sat on the couch and raised a questioning brow.

“Hey. Are you alright?”

“No. My shift was the worst. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Carlos got up, walked over to the paramedic and took his face in his hands. “Babe, you know I can’t force you to do it, but you should talk to someone about it.”

TK looped his arms around the officer, pressed himself very tightly against him and buried his face in Carlos’ shoulder. This is what he needed at this moment. He needed someone who would hold. It felt like an eternity for TK that they stood there, that Carlos held his boyfriend very close and was there for him.

TK breached the hug very slowly and kissed his boyfriend softly. “Thank you,“ he mumbled into the kiss.

\-----

A few hours later, after TK went to bed, he awoke from a nightmare, panicked, he touched the bed next to him, only to assert that Carlos wasn’t next to him. The Paramedic sunk back into bed with an annoyed huff. Carlos was on duty, and they both hated it when their shifts didn’t line up. TK hated it, especially after such a lousy shift like he had. Right now, he hated the feeling of being alone.

TK brooded over the call. What could he have done differently? It was his first official shift as a paramedic under Cap. Vega and he had the feeling that he failed utterly. They were called to a car crash, and the 126 had worked to cut the victims out of the car. In the back, there had been a little girl who appeared uninjured. The little girl hadn’t been trapped, so TK had been able to lift her out of the car easily. She hadn’t complained about any pain and didn’t have a mark on her, but yet she had collapsed in TK’s arms just a few minutes later.

Cap. Vega and TK had fought for her life together, but she didn't make it. Tommy told him back at the station that it wasn't his fault and that nobody could have seen this coming, but TK still couldn’t help but doubt himself and his skills. Since that call, he’d felt shaken and just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

TK hid more under the blanket in hopes he could get back to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t let him. Annoyed, he threw back the blanket and sat up. There had to be a way he could forget the pain and the sadness. TK knew of a way he could, but he also knew better than to think that the idea in mind could be the solution.

An hour later, he found himself in downtown Austin, in a bar. In the same bar, he’d gotten into a fight the year before and found himself at the police station with Carlos.

The woman bartending smiled at him, “What can I get you, sweetie?”  
When TK heard the pet name, he grimaced, knowing he should tell her he was gay and that he had a boyfriend, but for some reason, he didn’t. He ordered a whiskey on the rocks, needing something strong even as something in his head screamed that he knew better.

After the third glass, he stopped counting, sitting in the bar people watching. Happy couples and groups of friends having a great time together, and here he was, all alone. He emptied the glass in front of him and left the bar. The alcohol had helped him relax, but the pain was still present.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket TK scrolled through his contacts and selected Carlos’ name. He missed him and needed him, but it felt stupid to call Carlos at 3:00 am while he was on duty, so he hung up before the officer could answer.

He made his way, alone, in the early hours of the morning through the streets of Austin.

Carlos called him again and again, but TK didn’t pick up. He’d made his way to a street he’d been to before, but on duty and despite his brain foggy with alcohol, he wondered if he should take the next step. He would be throwing everything away he’d worked so hard for, but at that moment, he didn’t care. He just wanted to numb the pain.

It wasn’t hard to find someone willing to sell him oxy, and he pocketed the bag quickly. These pills had once been his best friend; they’d helped him when he needed it. He knew he couldn’t go back to Carlos’, couldn’t go to his dad’s.

He ducked down an alley and sat against the wall, pulling the bag out of his jacket pocket.

\------Carlos’ POV------

When his boyfriend had come home from work devastated but refused to talk about it, it had broken Carlos’ heart that he needed to work. He wanted to call in, but TK insisted that Carlos go to work. Now he sat at his desk, sunk in his thoughts. Of course, he was worried about TK, but he managed many crises during their relationship, with and without Carlos' help.

A few hours later, Carlos was driving through the empty streets of Austin in his patrol car, thankful his partner was off-duty for the day. She could talk about anything, and it wasn’t what he needed at the moment, even though he usually ended up learning something. Carlos’ radio sparked to life, indicating there had been calls about a disoriented person possibly causing a disturbance. He took the call over and drove to the address that dispatch gave him.

The officer parked his car, got out and walked into the alley, a hand on his gun, never knowing what to expect. He saw a shadow in the back of the alley and made his way toward the person.

“Austin PD. Sir, can you please put your hands up so I can see that you’re not armed,” he requested, watching them closely. The person didn’t make a move, not raising his arms, and he moved slowly forward. “Sir, Austin PD, please don’t make me point my gun at you, hands in the air.”  
He waited again to see if the person would move on their own, stood opposite the person he could see now that it was a man with his knees drawn to his chest, his face hidden in them. The flickering bulb in the alley came on, but Carlos could barely see more, he didn’t want to draw his gun, but he was here alone, without a partner.

“Sir, put your hands in the air; I won’t repeat it,” He unholstered his gun and held it, both hands curled together but pointed away, his voice raised.

The man startled, as though he was frightened and lifted his head, the light falling across his face. Carlos couldn’t help his own shock and holstered his gun, quickly bridging the gap between him and the man he hugged him tightly.

“TK? What are you doing here?”

The paramedic pressed himself into Carlos’ arm, crying into his uniform.

Carlos stroked TK’s back, hoping that he would calm down.

After a few minutes, TK let go, wiping his face on the arm of his hoodie. “Ca-,” he started to say then sobbed. “Carlos, I screwed up; I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, I’m sure whatever you did, we can fix it.”

TK took his arm in hand and shook his head. “No, I don’t think so,” he said; reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the bag of pills.

Carlos drew in a sharp breath of air, “TK.” He was stunned and took TK’s face in his hands, looking him in the eye until he found his voice again. “How many did you take?”

“I was close to taking one before you came, but I swear I didn’t, but I wanted to,” TK lowered his eyes, shamed. “Damnit, Carlos, I know better.”

“Did you take something else?”

TK rolled his eyes as tears formed, and Carlos knew from his reaction that the answer was yes, but he needed to know what it was.

“Baby, please, I won’t judge you. I’ll always have your back, even if you had taken any of these pills. Damn TK, I love you, and I want to help me, but you have to let me, and that means telling me what you took.”

TK took a deep breath, “you remember the bar where I was arrested last year? I was there, and I had a few glasses of whiskey.”

“How many are a few, TK?”

“I stopped counting after the third.”

“Oh, baby,” Carlos pulled him into a hug, and TK let him do it. There in Carlos’ arms, he felt safe; this was his safe place.

Carlos pulled back from the hug too fast, ready for the part he didn’t like and wanted to avoid. He picked up the baggie and put the pills in his pocket, and got up, pulling TK up by his hands. He squeezed his hands and gave him a sad smile though TK didn’t know what for.

“TK, I wanted to avoid this, but I can’t,” he took a deep breath. “Tyler Kennedy Strand, you are under arrest for possession of a controlled substance, you have the right to remain silent anything you say can and may be used against you in a court of law, You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before you are asked any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time. Please face the wall, put your hands on it and legs apart, as you are being searched.”

TK was speechless, his face showing everything as he huffed but followed instructions. He remained still as Carlos frisked him and then cuffed him; taking him to the squad car, he put him in the back and from there, they drove in silence to the police station.


End file.
